Elul is upon us, and with it comes the requisite obligation to engage in the process of
“teshuva gemura,” the highest most comprehensive form of repentance. In this period of the coming
Yomim Noraim
(“High Holidays”) the severe and somber concept of Divine judgment is
fused with the joy afforded us by this unique opportunity. It is the
season for the most efficacious form of personal and national
repentance, and we Jews have supreme confidence that we can obtain it.
The ability of man to spiritually elevate himself has its price: the
ever present potential for spiritual degradation. Unlike the animals who
are expressions of instinct, man can degrade himself to a status lower
than an animal whose life is dictated by biology. Sin is a reality, and
Judaism has a specific formula for avoiding it, including the mechanisms
of preventing sin, and the opportunity to return from it.
Judaism has an essentially positive approach to man’s spiritual
development. The fundamental belief that given a proper healthy
nurturing environment, a life of Halacha will articulate the best in
man, while restraining and containing the negative. At its core, Judaism
rejects the deterministic outlook of another faith system which deems
man sinful from birth. Christianity is premised on the negative belief
that man cannot perfect himself, and the solution proposed was contrary
to everything that Judaism believes in, including the most fundamental
beliefs relating to the one true Creator, Hashem. Idolatry became the
mechanism for repentance. Like the former, Islam also rejects personal
perfection, and instead glorifies the attribute of subjugation, cruelty,
and coercion. Subjugation via the sword negates the basic Jewish tenet
of free will.
The correct system of repentance is contingent upon one’s personal
belief in the overall system which encompasses biblical and rabbinic
prohibitions and positive injunctions. A breakdown of commandments
relating to man and The Almighty, and those between man and man.
I would like to share a few thoughts on the latter category, since
there is a tendency for many to define their religiosity with actions
relating to our Maker, while sometimes neglecting issues related to man.
The Almighty is all merciful and in many ways teshuva with our Creator
is an easier process than the tedious task of repairing a wrong with
one’s fellow man.
Man vs. Man
“Ahavas Yisroel, jackass!” The words I hollered at a Jewish
driver some 17 years ago, when this allegedly religious miscreant nearly
ran me over with his station wagon. Evidently, he wanted to arrive in
shul before
borchu to pray
maariv (the evening prayer
service). The absurd irony of a man who would run over someone to pray
to G-d! This episode, though humorous now, conveys for me a prime
example of this fundamental problem, when man’s obsession with matters
between man and G-d, comes at the expense of normal relations with other
people. I see this as a tragically dominant phenomenon in many circles,
where people place extraordinary emphasis on ritualistic matters of man
and G-d, while sometimes neglecting and abrogating those mitzvoth
relating
“bain adam la’chaveiro,” between man and man.
A Torah life. Here we have a semantic and a label that all too
often is misapplied. Identifying with and accepting the divinity of
Torah is surely one way of defining who is religious, particularly when
the individual subscribes to the “big three.” Yet if one’s flawed
behavior is manifest to the public, in the form of theft/dishonesty,
cruelty to others, aggression can one be truly deemed “
frum”? Can
an obsessive adherence to matters between man and G-d while
simultaneously abusing and mistreating his fellow Jew be a truly
religious person?
I am not Heaven forbid discouraging or minimizing the importance of
fulfilling those mitzvoth relating to matters between G-d and man. I am
stating that a fixation with the former sometimes results in undermining
those issues relating to man and his fellow man, which by its very
definition, expose the fact that one is greatly lacking in all matters
of observance, including those with his beloved Creator.
Flawed Figures: Reflections on Disgraced Torah Leaders
The most tragic examples of this tendency are found when people
representing Torah betray the system, since while man sometimes has the
tendency to mistreat his fellow man, he has the ironic tendency to
sometimes idolize specific men. In such instances, the
chillul Hashem
is even greater, since the damage to the Jewish community irreparable.
The system is ruptured when men who are supposed to lead, teach, and
embody Torah fall on their faces before our eyes. Ironically, even as we
sometimes sacrifice our obligations to our fellow men, the tendency to
elevate individual men to such high standards allows for the potential
for devastation when they betray the system.
It matters not whether
these religious men are “our rabbis.” While the greatest examples of
this can sometimes be seen in the popular cult of the “tsaddik” who is
sometimes the antithesis of the true man of Torah, the individuals
needn’t rise to this level of worship. To the extent that they represent
some faction of Torah based Jewry, the damage affects us all, when the
Torah is disgraced in front of the world.
All too often today, we read horrific stories where purported men of
Torah took advantage of vulnerable people and preyed upon them sexually.
From a psychological perspective, it is only natural for the victims of
abuse, (and abuse manifests itself in many ways), to abandon Judaism
after a negative experience, particularly when they believe that there
were other parties involved that enabled the abuse. It’s sad to see
people lose faith in Torah. Yet too often Judaism is judged by the
practitioner rather than the system. The inherent dangers to the system
are manifest when this becomes the anchor for one’s faith. And it’s not
only the extreme case of sexual abuse which tests men. Lesser offenses
also present Torah as a flawed system, though the desire to see it as
such is naturally based upon emotional reactions and betrayed
expectations, rather than the perfect rational system of Torah itself.
Several months back, we had the
chillul Hashem of a prominent
American rabbi, who was found guilty of a crime of moral perversion.
Fortunately, the disgraced sexual “rodef” was convicted and sentenced to
six years in jail, which although a ridiculously inadequate punishment,
will hopefully keep him away from people for many years. And prison is
no cake-walk for sex offenders, so the opportunities for additional
punishments in prison certainly exist. Here was a man heading a
prestigious Washington synagogue, a scholar in Torah, an academic, a
supposed voice of moral reason. He sat on prominent rabbinical boards in
high positions. And nevertheless, he undid himself after what must have
been a protracted period of idealization of sin followed by
comprehensive steps to actualize his thoughts. His actions required
extensive research and planning which included but was surely not
limited to the following:
- Indulging and engaging in the kinds of dark sexual fantasies whose
articulation jeopardized his spiritual integrity, personal reputation,
personal standing (not to mention the image of Orthodox Judaism as a
whole), and personal freedom.
- Making a concrete decision to actualize these thoughts in deed.
Researching the kinds of cameras that could be covertly placed in the
women’s mikvah, actually purchasing the model and mastering this usage.
- The final nail in his coffin: installing it. Maintaining his
addiction by maintaining the device. Downloading the videos. Allowing it
to remain affixed in the mikvah.
Throughout this entire process, one would think that a flawed but G-d
fearing person suffering from such a sexual addiction would have time
to find some outlet, possibly serious therapy and counseling, to
redirect his energies. A certain
Gemara comes to mind where it is
deemed preferable to sin away from one’s domain in the confines of
anonymity. Here we have an intelligent man endangering everything in his
life for the pursuit of sexual fantasy. There are two dangers when
reacting to this incident:
- Failure to learn from this negative spectacle.
- Drawing the wrong conclusions.
Both are likely possibilities. Religious Judaism has had enough
sexual scandals in recent years that came to the public eye and no
groups are free of this shame. In many instances, the abusers were
enabled both willingly and unwillingly by those who apologized, looked
away, and often ignored what was before them. I want to reiterate that
from the
chareidi world to those in the “modern-orthodox world”,
no group can say that they have clean hands. The historical account can
attest to this.
And then there are the asinine conclusions of those who don’t
understand Torah. The shrill voices of those not personally affected who
insist that Judaism needs to change to adapt to this and other
incidents. Judaism needs to change? Of course change is needed! Every
person, organization who could have prevented such incidents betray this
fact! Yet, the Divine system of Torah is perfect, and requires no
changing, despite the sentiments of too many who clamber onto the wagon
which demands that “orthodox Judaism” needs to evolve. The hysterical
reactions of those who view spiritually depraved evil people as
representing the system need to reassess their thought process. If
change is needed, it is in the practice of Judaism which have become
corrupted and politicized. The morality of Torah is perfect. Man is not.
And some men are more imperfect than others. Some desecrate G-d’s name
while wearing the cloak of the religious G-d man.
The warning signs are usually there. And by warnings, I mean red
flags of strange behavior that may not even be motivated by abusive
motives but by a distorted dysfunctional personality. It requires a
discerning eye and some
seichel. Sometimes it boils down to a hunch. A gut feeling that something is amiss. The sense that a rabbi shouldn’t be acting this way.
Several years back, while attending a bat mitzvah in a
“modern-orthodox” circle with my wife, we witnessed a peculiar spectacle
which led me to opine certain sentiments. The bat mitzvah girl’s
“rebbe” was jumping rope with his class of pre-pubescent girls. It was
undignified and perverse, yet in this “open” environment no one seemed
to notice or think something amiss. Let’s avoid the most blatant
halachic issues that come to mind which certainly forbid/discourage such
behavior. Even if one could interpret the actual context in a way that
didn’t involve prohibitions, one’s internal hunch screams (the
hashkafa bone
if you will) that something is terribly inappropriate. No normal
religious man (rabbi or otherwise) would ever place himself in such a
position. A sane cogent man would not want the public to even have a
“haavah aminah” that something not so kosher was transpiring. I’m not
accusing this man of any sexual indiscretion, G-d forbid. But we have
seen too many examples of such close-knit “kiruv encounters” over the
years, have we not?
So my second point is this. We need to celebrate the perfect system
of Torah, and be wary when it comes to idealizing or idolizing man or
men, all the while rejecting the equally un-Jewish notion that man is
essentially evil and flawed. Certainly we should honor and revere and
seek to emulate true men of Torah, who in the vast majority of cases
will not disappoint us. We should make for ourselves a “rav” as
instructed by
chazal in “The Ethics of The Forefathers.” Yet we
should internalize the words of Rav Soloveitchik of blessed memory who
noted the following:
“We may trust man, have confidence in him, but we may not have
faith in him. Faith connotes absoluteness and no man is worthy of
absolute faith. Faith is only applicable to G-d.” (Reflections of the
Rav, Abraham R. Besdin, pg. 67)
With these ideas entrenched, we are in a position to truly
rehabilitate ourselves and the dysfunctional aspects of contemporary
Jewish life, which rupture the ideal Torah system and bring man to sin.
And the teshuva process itself becomes grounded in real things, true
perfection, and not the trappings of “popular” teshuva which is
sometimes monolithic in scope and simple-minded in its articulation.
For a truly comprehensive treatment of issues pertaining to
repentance, I suggest people study the Rambam’s “Hilchot Teshuvah” in
the Mishneh Torah, and Rav Soloveitchik’s classic work, “Al Ha’teshuvah”
(On Repentance, available in English and Hebrew) which represents a
treasure trove of gems discussing every nuance of the subject. In my
humble opinion, as one who merely benefited from this
gadol through his writings, I firmly believe that the “Rav’s” legacy of Torah on the process of teshuva are unparalleled in history.
May Hakadosh Baruch Hu grant us the wisdom to discern His truth, the
strength to pursue it, and the fortitude to spread His Torah message to
the entire world, both Jew and gentile. And may we all engage in a
process of genuine “complete teshuva” to hasten the coming of the true
Moshiach.
Featured in the Jewish Press:
http://www.jewishpress.com/indepth/columns/fuchs-focus/mistreating-mentrusting-man-impediments-to-true-repentance/2015/09/07/
