Hasbara's Shameless Tokens

This is what happens when mindless hasbara morons choose non-Jewish dingbats to speak on behalf of Jews. Gender-neutral Bnai Mitzvah? What the hell does Chloe Valdary know about Jewish values or “zionism”? pic.twitter.com/R4KO5Cs4B8

— The Judean Hammer (@TheJudeanHammer) March 4, 2018

Bnai Brith Bubbies Unite!

Contemporary hasbara (Jewish advocacy) is shameless and undignified. Limp-wristed in thought and in deed. Few organizations illustrate this truism  as clearly as the liberal Bnai Brith. When Lenny Bruce called the Bnai Brith goyish, he knew exactly what he was talking about. 

When they are not bowling, hosting interfaith Passover Seders, advocating for gay rights, or opposing sane policies to keep terrorists out of North America, sometimes the Bnai Brith "reports" hate crimes to the authorities. Naturally, the anti-semites of the world are trembling, knowing that within 24 hours of your call to the Bnai Brith hotline, these great Jewish warriors will send someone to your house to remove the swastika with bleach. This terrifies them immensely.

The Bnai Brith and other mainstream hasbara organizations are a part of the problem, because they impede true Torah solutions and in it's stead, they propagate liberal values. And in the quest to appear universal, they and other like-minded hasbara organizations are obsessed with finding exotic gentile tokens, so that the world won't think that they only care about (or employ) Jews. Because that would be a genuine "shanda for the goyim." 

Naturally they are always on the lookout for the next best thing. Rumor has it that the Bnai Brith is desperate for a real Native-American, but as a rule they take what they can get. Nevertheless, it's hardly an optimal situation for them. And it doesn't help that clever memes (like the one below) are really taking the piss out of the Metis mythos. It's becoming ridiculous. 

In the meantime insiders are reporting that BB is carefully grooming their rising star, "Eskimo Boy". But such projects take time, and Eskimo Boy is but a child.